Somewhere I Belong
by Cross Eyed Freak
Summary: Yugi feels overshadowed by his Yami, and thinks there’s no point in living. Songfic! R&R plz! Chap. 3 up: Kinda tearjerkery.
1. Somewhere I Belong

Title: Somewhere I Belong  
  
Author: Cross Eyed Freak  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Summary: Yugi feels overshadowed by his Yami, and thinks there's no point in living.  
  
Disclaimer: I own natta!  
  
Warnings: Possible yaoi. I have absolutely no clue, though. Most likely really OOC.  
  
***  
  
Yugi's POV  
  
*When this began  
  
I had nothing to say  
  
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me*  
  
Pondering, brooding, meditating, no matter what you call I, it always means the same thing: thinking. I've been doing a lot of that lately. I mean, it's kind of strange. I used to be that 'Spur of the Moment' person. I used to be like, 'Do you want to go to the arcade?' or, 'Do you want to have a duel?' Just right out of nowhere. Now, I think about things a lot more. Longer, harder, and more.  
  
*(I was confused)  
  
And I let it all out to find, that I'm  
  
Not the only person with these things in mind*  
  
Like I said, strange. But that's not the point. It's -why- I've started thinking so much more. One word. Yami. Yup, my own darker side. It's all him. I mean, before HE turned up out of the puzzle, I had friends that actually paid attention to me.  
  
*(Inside of me)  
  
But all the vacancy the words revealed  
  
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel*  
  
Strange how everything can change in an instant. More like three seconds, actually. I wish he had never even came out from his 'Five-Millennia- Sleep'. Honestly! Even grandpa likes him better! I mean, I was washing dishes one time and I accidentally dropped a plate and it broke. He came in and he was all: 'Yugi! Why couldn't you be more like Yami, you clumsy child!'  
  
*(Nothing to lose)  
  
Just stuck, hollow and alone  
  
And the fault is my own  
  
And the fault is my own*  
  
Geez! It was just a plate! And of course, he failed to remember when Yami and Jou were fooling around, and Yami knocked over a table with priceless Asian relics. By the way, when that happened, grandpa told Yami it was fine, and that it was my fault because I tripped him. I was in my 'room'. He was in the living room. See? EVERYTHING is my fault for him.  
  
*I want to heal  
  
I want to feel  
  
What I thought was never real  
  
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long.  
  
(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)*  
  
It's not fair! I know I sound like some little spoiled brat but I already told you what was going on. And that's not the half of it. He moved into my room now. I'm in the attic now. I spend a lot of time in there, yup, you guessed it. Thinking. It's the only place I can get privacy. But it's so dusty! Every time I dust it and leave, the next time I come in, it's even dustier than before!  
  
*I want to heal  
  
I want to feel  
  
Like I'm close to something real.  
  
I want to find something I've wanted all along  
  
Somewhere I belong*  
  
Anyways, I thought Yami was supposed to protect me. But, it seems as though he's too busy to even bother. I've been beaten up eight times this week already! And the thing is, I've seen him and my 'friends' walking past while I'm getting my ass kicked.  
  
*And I've got nothing to say  
  
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face  
  
(I was confused)*  
  
I wouldn't mind AS much if they came to help me up off the ground after I'm pounded. It would be even better if they protected me, so I wouldn't have to go through this crap every day. Oh, great. Here comes mister high and mighty right now. He's so clueless! After I get beat up, he acts like nothing happened.  
  
*Looking everywhere, only to find that it's  
  
Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind.  
  
(So what am I?)*  
  
"Yugi?" He's calling me now. Ha! He never used to call me that. He used to call me aibou, or hikari. He should have called me HIS yami instead. That's what I am. A shadow. The obviously unimportant person. "Yugi?" There he goes again with the 'Yugi' thing.  
  
*What do I have but negativity  
  
Cause I cant justify the way everyone is looking at me  
  
(Nothing to lose)  
  
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone  
  
And the fault is my own  
  
And the fault is my own*  
  
I should change my name. 'Yugi'? It's such a pitiful word! It means game, you know. You'd think I was a seven year old or something. I mean, translated into English, can you imagine someone calling you? 'Game? Game?' God! It's so pitiful!  
  
*I want to heal  
  
I want to feel  
  
What I thought was never real  
  
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long.  
  
(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)*  
  
I used to understand why all the girls liked Yami better. He was taller, stronger and older. But over the summer, I grew at lest three inches, and I even started working out. Of course, I'll never be older than him. He's, what, four thousand nine hundred and eighty-four years older than me? Ah... Who cares? Obviously not him.  
  
*I want to heal  
  
I want to feel  
  
Like I'm close to something real.  
  
I want to find something I've wanted all along  
  
Somewhere I belong*  
  
"Yugi? It's time for dinner." Yup. Thought so. For a couple seconds there, I thought he was actually going to come up here and talk to me. Ha! Not a chance. I can hear him walking with his arrogant little swagger down the stairs. Does he care about me? That's a no-brainer. No one does.  
  
*I will never know  
  
Myself until I do this on my own  
  
And I will never feel  
  
Anything else until my wounds are healed*  
  
I will never be  
  
Anything 'til I break away from me  
  
I will break away  
  
I'll find myself today*  
  
Maybe I just don't belong. Nah. It's him that doesn't belong. I mean, a five thousand year old spirit from ancient Egypt? Give me a break! I'm a normal kid. Well, as normal as you can get with a 5000-year-old spirit living inside you.  
  
*I want to heal  
  
I want to feel  
  
What I thought was never real  
  
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long.  
  
(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)*  
  
Whatever. Even if I don't, it doesn't matter, anyways. He will always be more important than me. Yes, the great 'Yugioh, King of Games'. Of course he's more important than me! He used to be a frickin' pharaoh! But, who cares? He can go to Hell as far as I'm concerned. Oh, wait. He's probably already been there.  
  
*I want to heal  
  
I want to feel  
  
Like I'm close to something real.  
  
I want to find something I've wanted all along  
  
Somewhere I belong*  
  
I pick up the rusty nail that is sticking out of the floorboards, and shudder as its cold point gently touches my wrist and think, 'Will anyone miss me?' I can already answer that. NO. That's the answer to so many things lately, but there's no more time for any more musings. Bye-bye, world. I plunge the nail into the pale skin of my wrist and watch the red blood flow over my hand. It's kind of beautiful, in a sick, twisted kind of way. Oh, well. Doesn't matter anyway. The room is getting dark. I guess I'll be going somewhere I belong.  
  
*I want to heal  
  
I want to feel like I'm  
  
Somewhere I belong*  
  
***  
  
CEF: OMG!!! I killed Yugi!!! Help me!!!! I need to know if I should continue and make some dramatic rescue scene, or have another chapter where Yami muses about Yugi. Help me!!! Should I end? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. Going Under

Hey people! I've decided to continue, thanks to the massive amount of reviews for the first chappie! Thank you so much!! Anyways, I'm dedicating this chapter to Yami's Tenshi, for their wonderfully inspirational review, and the fact that they gave me extremely awesome ideas!! Thank you Yami's Tenshi!! Oh, and everyone else, thank you too!!  
  
Now, just before we continue, last time we left off, Yugi was musing about how he was barely noticed at all. Soooo... He attempted suicide. What happens next? Find out in this chapter!  
  
***  
  
~Yugi's POV~  
  
Hmm... It's getting pretty dark now... I wonder if Yami's noticed yet... Probably not. Oh well. Doesn't really matter... Does it? I can't seem to think straight... Wow. There's lots of red in what's left of my view. Is it because I'm holding my head in my hands? My wrists are bleeding. A lot.  
  
*Now I will tell you what I've done for you,  
  
50,000 tears I've cried,  
  
Screaming, Deceiving,  
  
And bleeding for you  
  
And you still won't hear me*  
  
I guess I've done a lot for him, I mean, before he got his body back. This is strange. I'm not able to think a lot, and yet I can still feel hate to him. Ha. Figures. But... It's not really hate... Maybe it's just anger... I mean, he is a part of me, right? Uh-oh... I can hear his footsteps coming up the stairs. I've got... to stay... awake... it's not as easy as you think...  
  
*(Going Under)*  
  
~Normal POV~  
  
Yugi sat on the floor, in a pool of his own blood, blinking in and out of consciousness. His eyes had taken on a dull look, as though there was frost over them. Yami was walking up the stairs, slightly amused at the fact that Yugi had probably fallen asleep while doing his homework.  
  
*Don't want your hand this time  
  
I'll save myself  
  
Maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)  
  
Not tormented daily defeated by you  
  
Just when I thought I'd reach the bottom*  
  
He continued up the stairs and noticed there was a small puddle of red liquid underneath the trapdoor that lead up to Yugi's 'room'. Another drip fell into the growing puddle. He looked up worriedly and gave a tug on the trapdoor's string. He was extremely surprised when a trickle of blood leaked down from above.  
  
*I dive again  
  
I'm going under (Going under)  
  
Drowning in you (Drowning in you)  
  
I'm falling forever (Falling forever)  
  
I've got to break through  
  
I'm going under*  
  
He pulled down the rope ladder (A/N: O.o) and climbed up. "Yugi?" He called. There was no answer. He pulled himself up the rest of the way and just about screamed. There was Yugi, sitting in a pool of scarlet. His eyes were glazed over. His clothes were stained with blood. "Yugi!"  
  
*Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies  
  
(So I don't know what's real)  
  
(So I don't know what's real and what's not)  
  
(So I don't know what's real and what's not)  
  
Always confusing the thoughts in my head  
  
So I can't trust myself anymore*  
  
He lunged at the dying boy and pulled him into a tight embrace. "Yugi... What did you do..." He mumbled through tears. "Nothing..." Came a dull voice. It was Yugi. "And don't... even try... to help me... You haven't bothered before... So why now?" He muttered. Yami winced at the hard time Yugi was having with speaking properly. "Just go..."  
  
*I dive again  
  
I'm going under (Going under)  
  
Drowning in you (Drowning in you)  
  
I'm falling forever (Falling forever)  
  
I've got to break through*  
  
'But... I didn't do anything!' Argued Yami silently. 'Yes you did,' Said a small voice in his head. 'You took his room, his friends, his grandfather... And now, you took his life...' 'No!' Yami yelled at the voice. 'That can't be true!!' 'Ah... but it is. And you know it.' Hissed the voice before becoming silent. "Yugi..." He whispered, looking down at the smaller boy. His eyes were closed. "Yugi?!" He yelled.  
  
*I'm, so go on and scream  
  
Scream at me, so far away  
  
I won't be broken again  
  
I've got to breathe  
  
I can't keep going under*  
  
He didn't respond. Yami rushed downstairs and called the ambulance, after a couple wrong numbers, then called Joey, Tristan and Téa. He sat on the couch, attempting to wake Yugi up. "Yugi... Please wake up..."  
  
*I dive again  
  
I'm going under (going under)  
  
Drowning in you (drowning in you)  
  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
  
I've got to break through,  
  
I'm, going under (going under)  
  
Going under (drowning in you)  
  
I'm going under*  
  
***  
  
Oi... I think I'm going to kill off Yugi in a couple of chapters!! Ah!! Don't kill me! Vote time!! To kill, or not to kill... that is the question! 


	3. Krwling

Urgh!! I am sooooo sorry that I haven't updated forever!! School started, so... But anyways, wowsers!! Look at all the reviews, people!! I'm so happy that you guys like my story, and I shall try to keep it as good as possible! Anyways, thank you to... Everyone that reviewed!!  
  
***  
  
Yami sat there, attempting to stop the bleeding as much as possible. He wasn't very successful. A short while later, he heard sirens wailing outside. A paramedic rushed in the door of the game shop holding one end of a stretcher, and another behind him holding the other end.  
  
*Crawling in my skin, These wounds they will not heal Fear is how I fall, Confusing what is real*  
  
Yugi's eyes opened a tiny little bit.  
  
"Yugi!" Exclaimed Yami. "You've got to stay awake, okay?" Yugi glanced up at him and closed his eyes again. "Yugi!!" Yami yelled.  
  
"Sorry, kid. That's not working, if you haven't noticed. What happened here anyways?" Asked one of the paramedics while loading Yugi onto the stretcher,  
  
*There's something inside me That pulls beneath the surface Consuming, confusing*  
  
"I-I don't know... I just found him upstairs like this..." Stuttered Yami.  
  
The paramedic examined Yugi's wrists.  
  
"Looks like typical suicide notions to me."  
  
Yami looked up at the man in shock. Why did Yugi want to do that to himself? He couldn't think of any-- Uh-oh. He thought back to the time Yugi was being beat up, when he was going to the arcade. He didn't stop to think, and he had kept on walking with Yugi's FORMER friends.  
  
*This lack of self-control I fear is never ending Controlling, I can't seem*  
  
"Oh. My. God." He muttered.  
  
"What, you know what happened?" Asked the paramedic.  
  
"No..." Yami lied. He felt a large jerk on his heart when he said that. His stomach also dropped a couple of inches.  
  
*To find myself again, my walls are closing in (Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take) I've felt this way before, so insecure*  
  
The paramedics loaded Yugi into the ambulance.  
  
"Hey kid," Said another paramedic. "Are you his brother? Cause you should probably come along..."  
  
Yugi's eyes opened an inch or so. He tried to say something, but it came out as 'Grgh...'  
  
"What Yugi?" Whispered Yami.  
  
"N...n...n-no..." He said weakly, and closed his eyes.  
  
The paramedic shrugged and closed the door to the ambulance, where Yami stood, dumbstruck.  
  
*Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real*  
  
"I'm so sorry Yugi... This was all my fault..."  
  
"Hey, Yami," Called Téa. "Don't worry too much about it... He had it-" She was cut off as Yami smacked her across the face.  
  
"You. Don't. Ever. Talk about him like that." His voice was deathly cold."  
  
*Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me Distracting, reacting Against my will I stand beside my own reflection It's haunting, how I can't seem*  
  
It was then that Grandpa brought out the car and everyone loaded into it.  
  
Téa kept glancing at Yami, who was staring out the window.  
  
It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. Yami repeated theis to himself at least fifty times by the time they got to the hospital, where he rushed in.  
  
*To find myself again, my walls are closing in (Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take) I've felt this way before, so insecure*  
  
"I need to see Yugi Motou. Is he all right?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, let me check..." Said the desk clerk in an annoying voice. "Let me see... Ah! Here it is! Oh, he's in critical condition right now, so no one can see him yet. Sorry toots."  
  
Yami tried to control himself from hitting the woman.  
  
*Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal Fear is how I fall, confusing, confusing what is real*  
  
They waited there for hours until a doctor came out.  
  
"Where is he?! Is he all right?!" Yami practically yelled.  
  
"Well..." Said the doctor...  
  
*(There's something inside me That pulls beneath the surface, consuming) Confusing what is real (This lack of self-control I fear is never ending Controlling) Confusing what is real*  
  
***  
  
Meep! Please don't kill me!! This chapter was so short... But I know you already hate me for waiting for so long to update, and now I'm pushing it by laying on a cliffy... Sorries!!!! 


End file.
